I remember one Valentine’s Day where many years back where I was dating someone new – we had only been on about two dates and it was not a serious relationship. I was very curious as to if he was going to do anything for Valentine’s Day. I am guessing he felt the pressure and was unsure what to do, because later in the day he awkwardly called me and explained he didn’t know what to do and that he was sending me a card. Two days later I got a politically incorrect card from the card company he owned. While I appreciated that he had made any kind of gesture, it certainly didn’t score any big points with me. In truth my own anxiety over the situation certainly didn’t help matters either, I have no doubt I was making way too big of a deal about what in truth was an overly commercialized holiday with murky historical roots, Valentine’s Day (like many holidays) is overly commercialized and there is way too much weight given to it. If you’re single, or dating someone who you don’t know where you stand with them, you can learn more about how to navigate this potentially awkward and painful holiday and keep your sanity by clicking HERE.
While Valentine’s Day typically gets blown out of proportion, if you just started dating someone new, it’s probably best not to ignore it completely, so I offer these guidelines.
1) KEEP IT SIMPLE. If it doesn’t feel authentic to you, no one says you have to by the world’s largest teddy bear with eighty–three Mylar balloon attached to it for your new beau. A simple rose and card, or even just a card, is enough to say “hey, I like you” without forcing or rushing things and going into awkward territory. Just make sure it expresses affection instead of cynicism. People tend to feel a little extra vulnerable on holidays like Valentine’s Day; so a little sensitivity to that can go a long way.
For great gift ideas that won;t leave your wallet empty, check out Part 3 of our Valentine’s week blog.
2) SHOW APPRECIATION. You can’t go wrong by showing someone appreciation for who they are; in fact, it’s one of the #1 things both men and women have expressed they would like to receive more of from their partners. When writing a Valentine’s note or card, no one said you had to become the next Shakespeare or Pablo Neruda. A simple “I am really enjoying getting to know you” or “I think you’re great and look forward to learning more about you” can really go along way are enough to keep the ball rolling without forcing the issue.
3) LOVE YOURSELF. Don’t forget to give yourself extra doses of self-love that day (check out Part 1 of Our Valentine’s week blog for more on this) In truth love is not something we have to “get”. On a spiritual level we are always we connected to an endless stream of love and often just need to allow it to flow into our lives. Self-love is often the missing ingredient to allow this to flow through, so don’t forget to beef up on your self-love so you are not overly reliant on your partner to fulfill your every need (a good guideline for relationships of all stages).
In general, don’t feel pressured to make your relationship more than it is, focus on the positive aspects of the person (or people, if you are still playing the field) you are dating, take time to give yourself a little extra TLC, and you should glide through this Valentine’s day without a hitch.